I’m part of a Wednesday morning ladies Bible study at my church, and recently we’ve spent some precious time together digging into the book of Ephesians. Among our many discoveries were some interesting numbers regarding the word grace. We learned that this word is used 131 times in the ESV. Additionally, we learned that 124 of those uses occur in the New Testament, with 86 coming from the apostle Paul. Doing the math, this means two-thirds of all the uses of the word grace in the Bible are penned by this one author.
Grace
A study of Paul’s use of the word grace (2 Corinthians 9:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9, 1 Corinthians 15:10, and others), soon shows us that there is more than one facet to the word.
Yes, grace is the unmerited favor of God toward us – a disposition or attribute of His own nature. But Paul’s writings show another side to grace. In many of Paul’s references, grace is shown as the action or influence of this disposition – a force which produces very real, very practical outcomes in the lives of people.
Accordingly, we can understand grace as God’s undeserved favor toward us AND the outflowing of this favor into powerful, practical helpfulness from Him into our daily life and the lives of those we interact with.
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
These precious grace-verses recorded in Scripture stir our hearts. We are so very thankful for God’s disposition and character trait of grace, and we yearn for the influence of His nature to be showered upon us daily.
Yet, as busy moms and grandmas trying to navigate all the daily “stuff” of life, we can find this longed-for grace to be so very difficult to shower upon those in our lives – especially our children and grandchildren.
This being the situation, the question becomes: “How might we, in the middle of crazy lives, learn to extend this gift we so long for ourselves to the image bearers in our care?”
Consider some of the following simple, day-in and day-out ideas below.
20 Ways to Shower Grace upon Your Children and Grandchildren
1. Smile.
Smiles are powerful. They are contagious little things that invite and welcome.
2. Listen.
When your child or grandchild wants to talk, stop what you are doing and truly hear what they are saying.
3. Look them in the eyes.
Nothing says, “You are seen,” “You are valued,” much more clearly than having someone put down what they are doing and look directly into your eyes.
4. Speak kind, gentle words in love.
It doesn’t take much for the hustle and bustle we feel daily to spill over into our words. Shower your child or grandchild with grace by being intentional with your words and your tone.
5. Hug them.
Admittedly, some children aren’t demonstrative with their feelings. They simply are not wired for it. But even many of them will respond to a hug offered as a gift of grace.
6. Offer blessing.
Bless your child or grandchild with words and actions that build them up and help them feel valued. Offer sincere compliments. Encourage them in their interests and endeavors. Help them grow in Christlikeness by affirming godly characteristics you’ve seen demonstrated in their lives.
7. Say, “I’m sorry.”
Children are not the only ones who make mistakes, and they certainly shouldn’t be the only ones who make apologies. A sincere, timely apology will rain showers of grace upon the hearer.
8. Make time.
I realize your immediate response to this one might just be, “I don’t have time to make time!” Keep in mind that it doesn’t necessarily need to be entire days or blocks of hours at a time. But get some daily time into your schedule for spending with your child or grandchild – undistracted time where they are your focus.
9. Offer to help.
I still feel the shower of grace my parents poured upon me throughout my lifetime. Help with projects and homework and figuring out life. Don’t do the work for them. That’s not grace. But oh, a hand of help!!!!
10. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
The small stuff is, well, small. Learn to let it go. Offer grace and save your energies for the big stuff.
11. Get a new perspective.
See the world from your child’s or grandchild’s view. Not just mentally or emotionally but also physically. From time to time get down, eye level, with your child and look at things from where they see them.
12. Pray.
Be a family that prays – before meals, at bedtime, throughout the day, when something comes to mind. Pray aloud for the children in your family and with the children in your family.
13. Set the tone.
Create an atmosphere of grace in your home by filling it with praise and worship music, making it a safe space for hard conversations, and treating one another as the precious image bearers of God that you are.
14. Simplify.
Hold a family meeting for all who are old enough and work together to simplify your family’s schedule.
15. Refuse to compare.
Comparison was hard enough when I was a young mom. But now! Social media has certainly upped the challenge. Shower grace upon your children and grandchildren by refusing to compare yourself with others, or to compare your children and grandchildren with each other.
16. Grow in contentment.
Our perfectionism and the demands we put on others through it are many things. But grace is not one of them! Learn to be content with “less than perfect.” Give everyone (including yourself) some grace. Perfection is impossible anyway.
17. Share your God-stories.
Shower your family with grace by sharing your God-stories with them. Tell them your salvation story. Recount the times He has shown up for you. Declare His mighty works and share the grace that has been shown to you through it.
18. Let them in.
Learn to be truthful and vulnerable with your children and grandchildren. Let them in on your struggles as well as your victories. This is an act of grace that will help them better navigate their own lives in years to come.
19. Rest.
Our lack of rest affects all areas of our life, including our parenting and grandparenting. Believe it or not, our lack of rest can cause us to be distracted, irritable, and even hard to get along with. The truth is, God’s perfect plan for us includes rest (Genesis 1:1-2:3). Heap showers of grace upon your children and grandchildren by interacting with them from a place of rest.
20. Keep first things first.
In all of it (whether it be the hustle and bustle or the mundane of the everyday), keep first things first. Shower your children and grandchildren with grace by always pointing them to Christ.
