My how things have changed! When I was a girl, there was a definite stereotype for grandparents. Say the word, and images of gray haired, older adults sitting in front porch rockers immediately flashed into the mind.
Today, however, research shows that the average age of a grandparent is 67 years. Research also reveals that the average age for becoming a first-time grandparent in the United States is 50 years old. (For women the average age is 47 years, while typically for men it is a couple of years more than 50.)
This data means the stereotypical grandparent from my youth does not exist. Of course, there are grandparents who fit the image shared above. However, based on the data, there are also grandparents who are young enough to still be reporting to a place of employment. Not only that, but the data also leads us to recognize that there are grandparents sitting between the two end points. These are the grandparents who have retired but not to rockers, just yet.
Regardless of where you fit on the grandparenting timeline, I’m going to venture to guess that overall, you feel that your days are fairly routine, unexciting, dull, even ho-hum – filled with the daily routine of work or perhaps the day in and day out of not being able to get up from your rocker. Certainly, not containing any moments of grandeur that someone would want to hear about.
Will you permit me, please, to utter a word of caution here? Don’t allow yourself to get trapped in this place. To you, your life may not seem very exciting, but you have things to offer – gifts your grandchildren will treasure.
One Grandfather’s Gift
A young lady recently shared with a gathering that she was in possession of a treasured collection. It turns out that her treasure was a cherished assortment of letters written to her by her grandpa! This grandpa did not live across the globe or even the country. He lived across town. Yet he wrote. Faithfully. And he didn’t write about the big, the bold, and the beautiful. No, he didn’t write about the exciting moments. He wrote letters about his day. He talked about what was going on outside his window. This grandpa delighted in sharing his every day. And these letters became a treasure.
Three Motivators for Writing Letters to Your Grandchildren
1. A letter is personal.
When was the last time you opened your mailbox and found a single piece of mail with your name carefully handwritten across the front? Be honest. Didn’t it make your heart skip a beat?
It is not different with your grandchildren. Kids of all ages love opening the mailbox to find something inside with their name handwritten on it. Something just for them. Theirs.
When we take the time to handwrite a letter to our grandchildren, we show that we are thinking of them. Similarly, we demonstrate that we are interested in them, as individuals. A letter from you, dear grandparent, provides your grandchild with a sense of security, love, and belonging.
Additionally, our letters, even though they seem insignificant to us, help our grandchildren come to know us better and strengthen the relationship between us.
2. A letter is breathing space.
Of course, we can send texts and email messages to our grandchildren, and sometimes that is exactly the thing we need to do. However, sitting down to handwrite a letter is like pressing pause on the fast pace of life. As we write, we secure a few moments of stopping, slowing down, and enjoying the pleasure of letting our thoughts wander.
Letter writing is not only breathing space for us. When our grandchildren open our letters and sit to read them, they too enjoy the pause, lingering over a meaningful message from someone who truly cares.
3. A letter is tangible.
I have a Kindle, and there are times when I am so thankful for that slim little device that I can throw into my bag and take along without bulk or effort. But, if you ask me, “Kindle or physical books?” I will choose books every time. There is just something about holding a book and turning the pages.
It is much the same with a handwritten letter. A letter can be opened and slipped from the envelope. It can be unfolded. A letter can be held in the hands and pulled out again and again.
Letters are a tiny part of your life. Parts you choose to share with your grandchild. They are a legacy of your love that can be carried with your grandchild anywhere they go. And just like they did for the contestant on Jeopardy, your letters can become a keepsake. One your grandchildren will treasure in their adult years and quite possibly pass on to their own children.
A First, Baby Step
As you sit here thinking about handwritten mail, it’s quite likely you are realizing that until now most of your communication with your grandchildren has been done in an instant on a device with a screen. You may, in fact, be feeling a little overwhelmed and wondering where to begin. Might I suggest beginning with a baby step?
Valentine’s Day is just a couple of weeks away. Don’t sit down and try to will yourself to compose a lengthy multi-page letter worthy of framing. You will most likely be overwhelmed and quit before you even begin.
Instead, go buy a Valentine card. Spend a little time in the card aisle and choose one appropriate for your grandchild. But before you address the envelope and mail it off, be sure to write a few personal lines inside the card. Tell them what’s going on outside your window. Share a favorite memory. Mention something you admire about your grandchild. Not a full-blown letter but certainly a beginning.
To you it may seem small. You may not think a letter from you would hold any weight with your grandchildren or that they would even care to receive it. But those few lines are a gift. A personal, space creating, tangible gift that will likely become a treasure.
