Traits of a Biblical Friendship

Last week we began our four-part exploration of Biblical Friendship – friendship the way God designed it! (If you missed that post, you can read it HERE.)

One thing we noted in last week’s post is that Biblical Friendship is unique. But the question before us now is, “How is it unique?”

What distinguishes a Biblical Friendship from any other?

That is our topic for today. Consider what the Bible tells us about how two or more Christ-followers are to relate to one another in friendship.

7 Traits of Biblical Friendship

Biblical Friendship is an excellent topic for study. Scriptures abound and much can be learned. For our purposes today, however, we will consider seven traits.

1. Loving (John 13:34-35)

Jesus commands us to love one another. Easy words to say. Harder words to put into practice.

One way we can show love to our friends is to tell them what they mean to us. Be creative in looking for ways to express your feelings. Expressions come in many forms – words, acts of kindness, provision.

Loving acts don’t have to break the bank, but they should be communicated often. No one ever tires of hearing that they are loved, valued, and appreciated.

2. Trustworthy (Proverbs 17:9)

Proverbs 17:9 tells us that a true friend will keep their word, honor our privacy, and guard our confidences. This friend is a treasure. They can be counted on not to tell our embarrassing stories without our permission. Our name is safe on their lips.

Trustworthiness in a friend is huge. However, it is important to remember that we must take care in this area. Trusting too easily can lead to ruin. We would do well to follow Jesus’ example as modeled in His friendship with Peter, James, and John. Share complete trust with only a few loyal friends.

3. Loyal (Proverbs 17:17)

“A friend loves at all times.” That means they stick with you even in the hardest of times.

One example can be found in 1 Samuel 23:15-18. In this beautiful expression of loyalty, Jonathan (the son of the king) leaves the palace and goes to David in the wilderness. He rose up and went. In other words, he was the initiator.

Just imagine David – running for his very life, from the king, hiding in the wilderness – lifting his eyes and seeing Jonathan! How must that sight have lifted his heavy heart? The sight of someone he knew and trusted, someone who loved him and supported him, no matter what?

This type of loyalty makes the statement, “I’ve got your back,” come to life!

Biblical Friendships bring glory to God and good health to our soul. Share on X

4. Vulnerable (2 Corinthians 6:11-12)

Biblical friendships provide a place for vulnerability – a place where we do not hide the realities of life but rather, open our hearts in complete honesty.

This place of vulnerability leaves many uncomfortable. Exposure is risky. But here, in the safety of a biblical friendship, we are free to be totally honest – about our sin, brokenness, weakness, fears, and even the mess of our day-to-day life.

5. Exhorting (Hebrews 3:13)

We are being lied to, every day. Coming from places such as the world, our own flesh, and Satan, the lies take various forms – social media, advertising, music, and movies to name just a few. And, just to reiterate, they are being hurled at us every day.

A biblical friend understands this and sees exhortation as a high calling. Lovingly they speak truth into our life through such difficult things as admonition, advice, and correction.

The giving and receiving of exhortation is not always easy, but our soul needs it!

“Biblical friendship exists when two or more people, bound together by a common faith in Jesus Christ, pursue him and his kingdom with intentionality and vulnerability. Rather than serving as an end in itself, biblical friendship serves primarily to bring glory to Christ, who brought us into friendship with the Father. It is indispensable to the work of the gospel in the earth, and an essential element of what God created us for.”

 Jonathan Holmes, The Company We Keep

6. Encouraging (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

A true friend rejoices with us, spurs our growth, and allows the Holy Spirit to speak life and hope through them. Through written and spoken words of encouragement offered regularly, they show us that we are valuable to them. They say things that keep us believing.

7. Sharpening (Proverbs 27:17)

Bound together by our common faith in Jesus Christ, true friends work to sharpen one another. They help each other grow in all areas of life. Conversations with such a friend are refreshing and time spent together fills the soul.

Again, these seven traits are certainly not the only ones attributed to biblical friendship. For a little deeper dive and to discover several more traits, I encourage you to spend some time with Ephesians 4:17-32. As you read through the passage, highlight or make note of any traits of biblical friendship that you see. For a little added benefit, try sitting down a day or two later and writing those traits out in your own words. Ephesians 4:17-32 is quite the portrait of biblical friendship.

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